Why do you park like an asshole?

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer) 01/25/2018 at 12:59 • Filed to: None

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My place of study has three parking levels, and each has a holier than thou parking space:

These are normally occupied already by about 6:30AM by the gym bros or first hour teachers.

The rest of the spaces are, at best, inadequate. Couple that with a ridiculous amount of teenagers that don’t give a flying fuck about respecting other’s property and you’ve got yourself a paint horror story 

Meaning that unless I want my car filled with scratches and dings and other surface imperfections, I need to park like an asshole.

I would never take two spaces, that’d be just rude, but I always park by a column or the last space and center the car as if I knew nothing about parking.

This way the car to my right can open its door without issue, and the car to my left too:

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:03

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That RS is in the best parking spot ever created

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:04

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I don’t see anything wrong, people don’t want their nice cars damaged.

Am I an asshole? (Oh God I hope not)

E90M3 > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:04

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

I don’t .

Spanfeller is a twat > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/25/2018 at 13:05

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I caught that spot once and I felt like Morty after feeling true level

For Sweden > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/25/2018 at 13:06

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I’d put a lift and a few tool boxes in that space.

Spanfeller is a twat > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/25/2018 at 13:06

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There’s a Facebook group where they make fun of antics like mine

Spanfeller is a twat > E90M3 01/25/2018 at 13:08

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Certainly assholery is not exclusive to nice car owners.

Nice M3 and parking job too

CalzoneGolem > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:10

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Well ... you are what you eat ... amirite?

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > For Sweden 01/25/2018 at 13:10

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Would that I could. Sadly, I cannot. It’s a badass spot though eh?

It is an office building’s public parking

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/25/2018 at 13:10

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I think CarsofFortLangley has it beat magically. Look in the other comments.

SmugAardvark > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:11

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I tend not to. This is one of the prime reasons that whenever I have a fun car to drive, I also keep a daily beater. I’ll take the beater on errands to places such as grocery stores and the like, where door dings are much more common. That way I don’t have to be an ass.

Spanfeller is a twat > CalzoneGolem 01/25/2018 at 13:13

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Are you saying I’m an asshole because of how I act or that you’re an asshole because of ea-

Oh I see...

Spanfeller is a twat > SmugAardvark 01/25/2018 at 13:14

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I don’t have enough space to have a lovely beater car

Gerry197 > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:14

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The parking by the pillar is not A-hole parking. A-hole parking is only when it inconveniences others or takes another spot.

That is smart parking right there brother, taking up a little bit of free empty space on one side to lower the chances of a ding on the other side is just smart parking.

Yes, it’s not between the lines, but you are not taking up another spot.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:17

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Nothing asshole about it.

Spanfeller is a twat > Gerry197 01/25/2018 at 13:19

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There’s a Facebook group where they make fun of bad parking jobs and my antics appear often. They consider it a bad parking job I call it art.

I never inconvenience others, like I said in the post its rude.

SmugAardvark > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:20

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That’s a bummer. Maybe you should overthrow a small country? I mean, it couldn’t hurt.

Gerry197 > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:21

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Send me the link, I’ll like to check out what they are posting.

CalzoneGolem > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:21

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( °  °)

Spanfeller is a twat > SmugAardvark 01/25/2018 at 13:21

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I could overthrow Belize but it’s inconveniently far from my place of residence.

Spanfeller is a twat > Gerry197 01/25/2018 at 13:23

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Its a closed group cus its made up of divas those social ideal is what happened in Mean Girls.

Normally a friend sends me pictures like “dude, they’re making fun of you”

But let me check my old phone for pictures.

Spanfeller is a twat > CalzoneGolem 01/25/2018 at 13:24

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Oh you nasty!

Gerry197 > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:25

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Oh, gotcha, I’ve seen a few of those bad parking blogs before, most are pretty logical, usually only double parkers.

promoted by the color red > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:26

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Are we not supposed to park like that? My car’s small enough that I’m parked offset to one side 99% of the time unless I get it right down the middle.

Spanfeller is a twat > promoted by the color red 01/25/2018 at 13:29

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Oh by all means park like that!

Just don’t use my car as your door stopper!

SmugAardvark > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:30

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Well, sure. Inconvenient as it may be, you’d have plenty of room to stash away a couple of beaters.

Thomas Donohue > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 13:31

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The problem with parking and leaving too much ‘space’ on either side is that you then open up the spot next to you for some a-hole to do the same.

i.e. they park with their wheels on your side of the line, so they can have more room to get out on the drivers side. Usually done 90% of the time by SUVs with no shits given.

Like this:

Spanfeller is a twat > SmugAardvark 01/25/2018 at 13:32

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Definitely a few million.

Spanfeller is a twat > Thomas Donohue 01/25/2018 at 13:35

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Oh no....

Onecannot win with parking...

smobgirl > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/25/2018 at 13:42

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That’s pretty much the holy grail of parking spots.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > smobgirl 01/25/2018 at 13:48

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Yeah, it’s really awesome. I always take a picture when I park in it.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/25/2018 at 13:48

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If I had a spot like that, I’d keep two cars in there or have a turntable to rotate the car around.

Although I’d still back in...

fintail > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 14:04

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Nothing wrong with parking off center towards a pillar or blank spot. I always try to park next to a blank area, or close to a pillar. More room from other cars, even with the pillar, as most drivers seem to be scared of getting too close. I’m not an expert parker, but I can handle it.

Arrivederci > Thomas Donohue 01/25/2018 at 14:18

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This *always* happens to me. Took the Audi to church this weekend, I found a nice, wide end spot super far away and parked about three inches from the curb. Come back out after church, some assbag in an Escape is completely over the line.

RPM esq. > Thomas Donohue 01/25/2018 at 14:45

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Disaster.

RPM esq. > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 14:46

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I have no problem with any of this and would do the same thing. How are you an asshole if it doesn’t affect anybody else’s ability to park? Sure it’s over the line on the pillar side, but there’s a nice wide buffer area there.

Thomas Donohue > Arrivederci 01/25/2018 at 15:01

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The levels of asshattery have no limits.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Spanfeller is a twat 01/25/2018 at 15:19

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Years ago when I worked at what was then Hughes Aircraft Company the parking garage I used had eight levels of parking and two levels of offices/labs on the top two floors. Most people would pull in, grab the first spot they could find and head into the office. But there were a few of us that drive all the way up to the top, even if it meant taking a little longer to get in and out of the garage.

Since the structure had more parking than we needed, the top 2-3 floors were rarely used. Those of us on the top level never parked right next to each other, always leaving at least one space between cars. We could always tell when there was an interloper in our midst as they would not follow this protocol and park right next to someone. We could also tell it wasn’t one of our group because they weren’t driving a German car; the overwhelming majority of us up there were driving something made in Germany and we obviously cared about them by the way we parked.

One interesting thing was that I had no idea who these other co-workers were. I never saw any of them getting in or out of their vehicles, and the subject of this parking garage never came up in any conversations in the office. It was just a like-minded group of individuals with mutual respect for fine automobiles.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 01/25/2018 at 16:22

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Hey.... is it okay if I squeeze my $2000 beater next to yours? I’m sure I can get it to fit on the right side no prob...

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 01/25/2018 at 16:26

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NO get away! All the space for my tiny car.

wafflesnfalafel > Thomas Donohue 01/25/2018 at 22:42

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I’ve got a yahoo in our garage that will occasionally do that to me... “dude, Y U B such a w@nk?”

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Spanfeller is a twat 01/26/2018 at 11:25

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pictured: not asshole parking